Not a great Monday morning.
For me, when I sneaked a quick peek at my inbox (what was I thinking?!)
For Gully the gull, with the eyes wider than the beak, upon realising that the plaice that he had nicked from the trawler would be of little use to him.
For the misplaced plaice. So close from the sea (50 meters at the most).
Yet so far.
At least, they don’t make me wear my poo tied in a bag around my neck in the Mistake Factory.
Yet.
Manufacturing fun and frolics since 1996.
Thank you Luca, for still deigning to accompany us on a forest walk.
A teenager, and yet not putting up too much of a fight at the idea of spending an hour or two in the forest with your aul mum and dad and brother Finnzy-Bob.
While Mimi was in her second home.
The gym.
Doing gym. Nastics.
Don’t even think about it, on you go. Go!!!
Stop that! You can’t stop here. This stop is not in use.
GO!
A brisk walk (in orange alert weather!) to the library, and a half hour road trip through 1974 America thanks to Stephen Shore.
Great way to clear the head.
Then I was accosted by two kids on the street who were screaming “Dad! Daddy! Papa!”
They were actually mine. It still cost me 8 slices of Italian salami from the Granny Aisle…
Keep your pants on Met Eireann…
It’s January after all. Temperatures between 2 degrees (Celsius…) and minus 1 degree do not warrant getting your knickers in a twist.
I am getting really tired of this sensationalist-scare-mongering-we’ve-got-fuck-all-better-to-do weather forecasting…
The Yaris, this loaded weapon, has once again received the highest accolade: the Trip Advisor Certificate of Excellence 2016.
Sample of user reviews:
8/10 – “I can’t quite afford the Nissan Leaf, aka the Silent Killer, but this is the closest I can get to a weapon of mass destruction. Ageing technology but it still gets the job done: scored 12 hits on my way back from Tesco last Tuesday”
Margaret Kinahan – Baldoyle
9/10 – “Can’t beat the good aul Yaris. Still has tons of street cred. The kids in my estate shit themselves when they hear me revving the beast at 8,000 rpm in second gear as I attempt to leave my driveway. Wouldn’t give it up for love nor money.”
Bridget Murphy – Cabinteely
10/10 – “Yaris rulz ok! Them losers in Nissan Micras don’t have a shaggin clue. The Yaris always wins in the pedestrians per mile contests. It’s a beast!”
Dervla Connolly – Bray
9/10 – “Love my Yaris, love it. It feels like it can read my mind. It is me and I am it. It’s like an extension of my own body. It is my fists for pounding, my forehead for head-butting, my feet for kicking.”
Bernadette Riley – Finglas
11/10 – “Best navigation system in the world. When I get plastered with the girls after Bingo, it always gets me back home. I got mine in red, the blood marks from felled pedestrians are less noticeable.”
Fionnuala O’Malley – Ballybough
9/10 – “Deadly! Fookin’ deadly! Quite literally”
Molly Byrne – Crumlin
Dun Laoghaire is undergoing a facelift.
I can’t quite contain my excitement at the thought of a new, sexy, cheeky Dun Laoghaire coming out of the chrysalis.
I just hope that O’Loughlin’s remains at the epicenter.
I don’t think they could cope with more cheeky sexiness. They reached the maximum permissible level back in the mid 50s.
More sexiness in Lockies would reach harmful levels.
In and around Dublin 