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Lauded killer

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The Yaris, this loaded weapon, has once again received the highest accolade: the Trip Advisor Certificate of Excellence 2016.

Sample of user reviews:

8/10 – “I can’t quite afford the Nissan Leaf, aka the Silent Killer, but this is the closest I can get to a weapon of mass destruction. Ageing technology but it still gets the job done: scored 12 hits on my way back from Tesco last Tuesday”
Margaret Kinahan – Baldoyle

9/10 – “Can’t beat the good aul Yaris. Still has tons of street cred. The kids in my estate shit themselves when they hear me revving the beast at 8,000 rpm in second gear as I attempt to leave my driveway. Wouldn’t give it up for love nor money.”
Bridget Murphy – Cabinteely

10/10 – “Yaris rulz ok! Them losers in Nissan Micras don’t have a shaggin clue. The Yaris always wins in the pedestrians per mile contests. It’s a beast!”
Dervla Connolly – Bray

9/10 – “Love my Yaris, love it. It feels like it can read my mind. It is me and I am it. It’s like an extension of my own body. It is my fists for pounding, my forehead for head-butting, my feet for kicking.”
Bernadette Riley – Finglas

11/10 – “Best navigation system in the world. When I get plastered with the girls after Bingo, it always gets me back home. I got mine in red, the blood marks from felled pedestrians are less noticeable.”
Fionnuala O’Malley – Ballybough

9/10 – “Deadly! Fookin’ deadly! Quite literally”
Molly Byrne – Crumlin

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