Once again, the nightmarish scenes predicted by Met Eireann materialised, and this is the sorry spectacle that awaited in the driveway this morning: the car was well and truly stuck in snow drifts.
Thankfully I was able to cram 4 sliced pans under each wheel and gained traction. That panic buying with the rest of the Dublin population yesterday was well worth it!
Braving the 0 °C temperature to proceed to the wedging of the bread under the pneumatic implements was no small feat. Imagine that, zero degrees, in February?!?!
I had to wear gloves, for fuck sake. And a scarf!
As I type hundreds of school principals around the country have the right index finger on the panic button, ready to press it as soon as three snowflakes coalesce in the school yard, to immediately (and indefinitely) shut the schools down. For health and safety reasons. Obviously.
I guess that we have the mass media, and the mass hysteria, that we deserve.
We make it easy for them. We love nothing better than to click on links of promised doom, or the latest Orange Man imbecilic quote, or hilarious videos of farting pandas.
We are happy to allow them broadcast their alarmist crap in our living rooms, on our radios in our car, in our few surviving daily newspapers.
They feed us the shite we thrive on.
It takes two to tango.
The Irish Summer. It never fails to deliver.
Didn’t stop us from swimming though. Yep, we are hardcore.
The Dulux guys seem to be running out of ideas for their impressive range of off-whites: Moonlight White, Nearly White (genius!), Venetian White, Iced White, Pure Brilliant White (deadly!), Jasmine White, Ivory White, Country White.
They are missing a rather obvious one: Irish-Legs-at-the-End-of-a-Long-Winter-White
When the invitation from Brenda landed in her WhatsApp, Jacqueline was thrilled and panicked in equal measures.
A pyjama party! She loved pyjama parties. She adored pyjama parties.
But then, with just a nanosecond delay, she realised that she had nothing to wear!!!
At the crack of dawn (1.30 p.m.), she quickly slipped into her shopping pyjamas (Cervidae series) and rushed to Penney’s to look for a Pyjama Party pair of pyjamas.
She adored pyjama parties!