The Dulux guys seem to be running out of ideas for their impressive range of off-whites: Moonlight White, Nearly White (genius!), Venetian White, Iced White, Pure Brilliant White (deadly!), Jasmine White, Ivory White, Country White.
They are missing a rather obvious one: Irish-Legs-at-the-End-of-a-Long-Winter-White
When the invitation from Brenda landed in her WhatsApp, Jacqueline was thrilled and panicked in equal measures.
A pyjama party! She loved pyjama parties. She adored pyjama parties.
But then, with just a nanosecond delay, she realised that she had nothing to wear!!!
At the crack of dawn (1.30 p.m.), she quickly slipped into her shopping pyjamas (Cervidae series) and rushed to Penney’s to look for a Pyjama Party pair of pyjamas.
She adored pyjama parties!
Free-range tellies giving the finger to the CCTV.
Tonight, I had the East Pier to myself.
Which was nice.
Because I was the only lunatic to venture into the bitterly cold horizontal rain.
Which wasn’t nice.
Copy of a report found by mememe2U while rooting in the bins outside Irish Lights (don’t ask…)
Smartbuoy #17174 to Oirish Loights Headquarters.
Yo Dudes, it’s me, smartbuoy. What’s the craic? How are they hangin’?
Anyways, here’s me report, today, around 6 pm, or thereabout.
– Navigation: can’t see no shaggin boats anywhere, so shag all risk of collision, they’re safe!
– Wind: it’s blowy as fuck around here! You’re lucky to be back in the swanky no-expenses-spared HQ. I’m tellin’ ya. Direction: it’s going horizontally, it’s so shagin’ strong! Same for the rain it carries…
– Sea state: it’s in a right aul state all right, lemme tell ya. Pissed off it is!
– Water temperature: are yize kidding? It’s shaggin freezin’ so it is. It’s the Irish Sea for fuck sake, I haven’t drifted west to the Caribbean. I haven’t seen my nads for the last three years it’s so bleedin’ cold.
Anyways lads, scan my QR Code or kiss my wet cold arse, I couldn’t give a flying f****
Keep it funk, roigh?!