Month after month after month I see it fail miserably at biodegradability.
This one was dumped at least eight months ago.
The health-conscious shithead in need of the vitamin from this delicious and 100% natural mango and passion fruit smoothie is one smooth criminal.

Why do you toss it, tosser?

Next time, bag it, scumbag!

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Innocent my arse

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2016 Vote for Me Me Me National Portrait Awards


It’s the same every couple of years. The Big Electoral Portrait Awards.
I have always found it highly irritating.

Until this year.

Now that my Richard is up, I am totally biased.
See, for the last 23 years, I haven’t had a vote. Not that I feel less empowered. None of us get to vote for the real decision makers.
But this year, I got a chance to vote. I called into Richard’s office a few months ago. I offered to take his photograph for free, no strings attached.

I don’t agree with all of what he has to say. But he has in his days kicked a few inconvenient hornets’ nests. Which needed kicking, in a nation of tepid, obedient, mildly corrupt, boys-club politics.

His heart is in the right place. Despite all the grand ideas, his hands would be tied behind his back if he ever got to be in government. Which I doubt he ever will.
He will always be an opposition TD. And he is good at it.
His heart is in the right place.

And my photo is all over town.

It’s getting more exposure than a Becquerel party in Chernobyl.
I’m chuffed.





I have always been shit-scared of the end of the world.
I can’t help but feel that there is a definite aftertaste of rain-on-your-parade to your average armageddon.

That is until I sought a second opinion.
Finn manages to make his ‘end of the werlld’ seem positively great craic.

Always seek a second opinion.

I hope I won’t miss it, I’ll barely be 102, going on 23, when he turns 64.

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Delightful annihilation



Since his encounter with Henry, and his subsequent fall and collision with a hard wet concrete surface, Johnny’s faith in the power of advertising had been in shreds.
He was not looking forward to his battle with Imogen either.

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On the tear


Unlike the hysterically happy beardy guy who was only too glad to promote the delights of beer guzzling at 9.30 AM as I was walking in to work this morning, Mr. Jean-Claude Decaux is not a happy camper.

First, he had to design posters on some sort of plastic film, to withstand the typical Irish rainfall extravaganza (the wet-glue/paper ones inevitably ended up in a mulch of, well, paper and glue, heaped underneath a bare metal billboard).

Now he has to go back to his engineers, to design plastic posters that will withstand winds gusting at 3 million miles per hour. Two to three times a week…

It’s a good thing that there is no shortage of cash in the happy-beardy-hoppy-bear industry. `

For those of you not necessarily familiar with the “on the tear” of the title, you will find a rather useful list of Irish idioms and expressions here.

6.15 PM update:

Question: Who’s laughing now?


Answer: That bollix, still.

Just about.












They didn’t mess about with band names in the 80s.

They didn’t go for something like The Apt at Delivering Effective Rock’n’Roll Music

or The Quite Enjoyable Band.

Not even The Pretty Shaggin Good If You Ask me.

No. The Stunning. It had to be the Stunning.

I wasn’t stunned last night. Neither did I expect to be. I saw a band most apt at delivering effective rock’n’roll music.

They were more than quite enjoyable. The were pretty shaggin good, if you ask me.

And the other ’40-somethings’ around me were lapping it up.


At least they didn’t call themselves The Hilarious Biscuits. 

Or The Subterranean Monologues. 



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The Stunning – Button Factory – 30 January 2016



So tempting.
So off-limits.

One twist open.
Enriched with IRON and vitamin C.

Forbidden Fruit flavour.

I resisted.

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A milk called Mandy