Microsoft excel for morons

Bemused would be putting it mildly…

Mrs Raheny with her default expression for the last four days.
Trying to decide whether the book is wrong, or the laptop is wrong, or the teacher didn’t cover that particular point.

She is pretty adamant that there is no Sort Ascending or Sort Descending options in Excel.

She excels at faulting the fucking laptop. Or the shagging book. Or that teacher bollix, the one who snorts really loudly and doesn’t give a crap.

There’s been quite a bit of swearing in the house lately.

My years of teaching and my legendary patience are put to the test. “And what the f*&**” do you call that?! Isn’t it f**** obvious?! A button with a shaggin funnel and an A and a Z! That’s for sorting and filtering, obvious-fucken-ly. What else would you use a funnel for?! To bottle A and Z letters?!”

art, bambi is not happy, disgruntled, dublin, ireland, life lesson, monochrome, patience, photography, portrait, seeing is believing

xls wtf?!

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Live cam from the nightwear aisle, Penney’s Dun Laoghaire

When the invitation from Brenda landed in her WhatsApp, Jacqueline was thrilled and panicked in equal measures.
A pyjama party! She loved pyjama parties. She adored pyjama parties.
But then, with just a nanosecond delay, she realised that she had nothing to wear!!!
At the crack of dawn (1.30 p.m.), she quickly slipped into her shopping pyjamas (Cervidae series) and rushed to Penney’s to look for a Pyjama Party pair of pyjamas.

She adored pyjama parties!

art, dublin, dun laoghaire, funny, global warming my arse, humour, ireland, seeing is believing, street photography, too shy shy oh shush oh you are

Sartorial dilemma

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sun and fair weather, over Dublin, you've got to be kidding, right?

Weird meteorological phenomenon observed over Dublin Bay.

Proceed with caution.
A weird, and rather huge, and definitely unexplained source of very bright light has produced a strange optical phenomenon.
The public is advised to take extreme care while venturing outdoors as it can be very painful for the eyes.
The National Committee for the Creation of Head-Scratching Consultancy Groups is currently recruiting consultants with expertise in unexplained bright lights. Or a first cousin sitting on the NCCHSCG.
Met Eireann predicts that the protective cover made of thick grey clouds should soon be back where it belongs, and we will soon be able to ditch the welder’s helmets and other daytime Bono-shades.

a splash of colour... quite literally, art, dublin, dun laoghaire, funny, humour, ireland, photography, seeing is believing, tourism, travel

Easy now!

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Shite, Donnacha, you remember that arts council grant we got last year, yes, the one for which we wrote the 25 page concept. Yes, that one. Well, I have just reread the small print, and we may have to pay it back unless we produce an actual piece. Yeah, me too. I thought that the concept was enough. But they’re actually expecting a work of art, the greedy exploiting bastards. Pass me the pot of red paint and the hammer, I can feel a piece coming. I’ve always hated the shaggin small print…

a splash of colour... quite literally, art, dublin, dun laoghaire, funny, humour, I'd be tempted to admitting to being superstitious but I prefer not to say it aloud, ireland, photography, ribbed for your pleasure, seeing is believing

It’s oart, loike

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48 hours on, and Peter was still finding it hard to believe that Andrex were really having a 16-for-the-price-of-10 family pack offer.

Was this blatant lack of business acumen sustainable?
Or perhaps there was a catch…

christ on a bike, dejection, dublin, dun laoghaire, durex lex sed lex, funny, humour, ireland, seeing is believing, street photography

Struggling to come to grips with reality

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bric a crap, dublin, dun laoghaire, funny, humour, hysterically happy, I'd be tempted to admitting to being superstitious but I prefer not to say it aloud, ireland, patience, seeing is believing

Screw you, unsmiley phone

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I am more than a little bit chuffed with myself.
I managed to make a smart phone that works from two not-so-smart broken ones.

With the help of the Chinese guy from the New Paddy Electronics (phone unlocking, at reasonable prices), I have returned Mrs Raheny to connectivity and the joys of getting Whatsapp notifications every 3 minutes.

Her first phone she dropped in Don Mimi’s pizza, at a time when the kids were particularly odious (their way of thanking her for taking them for a pizza treat). That was a good while ago.

The second hone decided last Friday to display a blue screen with a rather pissed off unsmiley face. Not a good sign (the only worse sign is the blue screen with extended middle finger logo).

You’ve just got to love YouTube. Besides hilarious videos of pugs and kittens doing super cute things, there are videos for every sort of technical problem you can think of.

I am forever in debt to LE55ONS, a guy generous with his time and skills.

In the grand scheme of things, I have almost balanced out the destructive formative years of my youth.

Broken:
My first wind-up watch
My second wind-up watch
My first electronic watch
My third wind-up watch
My second electronic watch
My mum’s travel alarm clock
My first walkman
My mum’s Renault 19
My first Discman
My first MP3

Fixed:
My second 35 mm camera
A Philips portable DVD player (from two broken ones)
My mum’s DVD player and home cinema amplifier
Mrs Raheny’s Nokia 520 (from two broken ones)

Ongoing project: fixing the chord of the edge trimmer that I cut last week, while trimming the edge.

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“Our Father, who art in Heaven. Let not this modest abode run out of toilet paper. Ever. Blessed be thy name. Amen”

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Bog scroll

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