Average number of cigarettes smoked in a day: 15
Started smoking when she was: 22
On your marks…
I have a great feeling about the class of 2014.
They are bond to thrive under the watchful eye of Padre Pio (patron saint of tadpoles and mittens manufacturers worldwide).
They are showing a lot of potential already.
First of all, they did not have that shocked look of the tadpole caught in the headlights of an incoming truck when I unloaded them from the boot after the long drive back from Mayo.
For such little creatures, they showed massive amount of resilience after long stretches stuck at 35 mph behind an octogenarian in a Micra.
Those guys were cool as the cucumber they feasted on when we arrived, to congratulate them for their relocation to the east coast.
They may find the accent disconcerting at first.
The kids are excited.
I’m excited because they are excited.
No, let’s be honest, I’d be excited even if they were nonplussed (which they aren’t).
Because tadpoles are brilliant. They top the poll of the easiest to care for, cheeriest, cheapest (!) pets ever.
And I have a feeling that this year, of all years, we will manage to get a frog.
Or a toad.
We’ve got a Spire (recently cleaned, shines like hell in the sun – provided we get more sun before it gets all dirty again that is…)
And a tower block that’s not owned by Google (first 5 floor occupied, and Advanced Damp Progression Studies ongoing on the remaining 11).
We have street lighting (operated on alternate days, due to cost cutting measures).
We have a pair of tall disused chimneys (barely seen peaking out on the left of
Damp Liberty Hall in this uninspired shot). Well, no longer used for their primary use (releasing nasty stuff fairly high up in the air and hoping that the mainly westerly winds will swiftly carry it off towards Wales).
They are now mostly used for triangulation purposes (if you see them in front of you and the sea is to your right, you are on the safe south side, if you see them in front of you and the sea is to your left, well, you are pretty f****d…)
There were talks of requesting a preservation order as they are so much part of the Dublin heritage but Starbucks have declined to open yet another branch at the top of one (the other one would then automatically house a Costa…)
Come, you’ll love it.
Them city kids…
The running in the grass, and playing on the beach, and walking on the edge of cliffs…
It’s all well and good for a few days. But all that sea air, and green grass, and hearty food, it cannot be good for your health, can it?
All fun things are bad for you, roigh?
Had a bracing walk within nostrils’ distance of the Poo factory with the Baudsons.
We mostly talked about tadpole farming best practices.
And Christophe found a football.
And a spare wheel for his trailer.
Then we had home-made pizza, and saucisson and smoked magret de canard.
And Finn bought a bottle of fancy lemonade for the kids with his tenner. And Luca dressed up as a transvestite fairy. And the adults had one glass of red wine each.
And the Baudsons left. With their 12 tadpoles in a jam jar.
And Finn got to keep the football.