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Forget about all those so-called experts and other governmental advisers on astronomical fees.
The Big Nose Club, in its emergency meeting last night in Mulligan’s, managed not only to identify the world’s most crippling issues (pint 1 to 3), but we also managed to find swift, easily implementable and measurable solutions to these problems (pint 4 to 6).

Emails were duly sent this morning to the UN Security Council, the European Court of Justice, Brian May, Theresa May, the Nobel Committee, NATO, Enda Kenny, Amnesty International, the UNHCR, the IMF, the Pentagon, the Holy See, the Blind Drunk, the WWF, the WTF, the Grand Mufti of Saudi Arabia, the AA and Teddy’s ice cream parlour in Dun Laoghaire.

We are now waiting for the replies to pour in. And kudos. And expressions of eternal gratitude. And awards.

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Stoutperforming the competition

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