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Smart-arse buoy

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Copy of a report found by mememe2U while rooting in the bins outside Irish Lights (don’t ask…) 

Smartbuoy #17174 to Oirish Loights Headquarters.

Yo Dudes, it’s me, smartbuoy. What’s the craic? How are they hangin’?
Anyways, here’s me report, today, around 6 pm, or thereabout.
– Navigation: can’t see no shaggin boats anywhere, so shag all risk of collision, they’re safe!
– Wind: it’s blowy as fuck around here! You’re lucky to be back in the swanky no-expenses-spared HQ. I’m tellin’ ya. Direction: it’s going horizontally, it’s so shagin’ strong! Same for the rain it carries…
– Sea state: it’s in a right aul state all right, lemme tell ya. Pissed off it is!
– Water temperature: are yize kidding? It’s shaggin freezin’ so it is. It’s the Irish Sea for fuck sake, I haven’t drifted west to the Caribbean. I haven’t seen my nads for the last three years it’s so bleedin’ cold.

Anyways lads, scan my QR Code or kiss my wet cold arse, I couldn’t give a flying f****
Keep it funk, roigh?!

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