Take part his peachy arse…
Finnzy when to Santry to win.
It was after all his first participation in the Dublin Indoors Athletics Championships.
The ones that take place outdoors, in the Billy Morton Stadium.
He was firmly intent on launching his career with a bang.
But win he did not. And there wasn’t putting any brave face on it.
It didn’t help when he was talking to his Mum on the phone and explained that he had come second last. When she exclaimed that second was brilliant, and such a phenomenal achievement, he got a bit shirty and had to explain again that he had arrived second last.
In fairness, his Mum put in a great performance when she exclaimed that second last was brilliant, and such a phenomenal achievement.
But he wasn’t buying it.
Then we left the Billy Morton stadium, and there was this total muppet in a silver Mondeo who was afraid to have to walk 500 meters to an athletics competition and who had managed to get his car stuck in the mud while revving madly on a grassy verge.
I really was in two minds when he said, wild with panic, “gizzus a hand will ya?” Even when I panic as a result of a moronic move, I am quite sure that I do not forget to add the magic word at the end of a desperate request for help.
I halfheartedly stepped into the mini Verdun to help his other victim push his poxy Mondeo while he was still revving like mad.
Sure enough, we got him out of there in no time.
For which he thanked me by closing his car door. On my thumb.
The cretin fuckin crushed it.
I screamed. “FUCK!!!”
And a second time “FUUUUUUUUCK!!!!” (by that time, the pain had really begun to kick in).
I walked away as fast as I could. I felt an overwhelming need to punch him repeatedly in the face.
Finn cried. The poor little fellow. When he saw the blood and the state of my thumb. And the very loud swearing must still have been ringing in his ears. As well as in the ears of the Mondebollix.
At least it took Finn’s mind off the not-quite-victory for his first participation in an athletics competition.
In the Billy Fuckin Morton Stadium.