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– No, Father Joseph, the barely blessed sacrament shall not do on a day like today, we are going to give it some welly, we are […]
– Surely, Father Malachy, you are not thinking of… not the… the most blessed sacrament?!
– Precisely buddy, the most blessed sacrament! We’re losing them. The barely blessed no longer cuts the mustard for them. We need some extra oomph.
– Still, boss… the most blessed sacrament?! And for a bunch of sinners?!
– Cool the jets Joe. We’ll give them something to remember. The most blessed sacrament it is, on a Thursday in August. Those who’ve fecked off to the Algarve for a bit of sun will be sickened when they come back and find out they missed out on not just a fairly blessed sacrament, but the most blessed sacrament. That will be a reward for the hardcore fan base, the grass roots, the flock that doesn’t stray too far from the Prayers Factory.
– But… but… will it not lose a bit of its wow factor, for the truly special occasions?!
– Don’t be daft Joe, I have a special little number up my cassocks’s sleeve. The Ultimate Sacrament GTX Deluxe. For Christmas morning and Easter Monday.
– You’re the best, boss.
– I know, Joe. Now go and open the doors, there’s bound to be a crowd trying to fight its way in.

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Pushing the ark out on this one

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