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Christ on a bike



I very nearly bagged the money shot…

The diluvian rains stopped almost as abruptly as they had started*
He parted the heavens and came down.
Slowly, bathed in a beautiful white light of an unearthly intensity.
He was about to mount His virginal white 3-speed Raleigh.

But then He spoke: “O bollix, abort landing, I repeat, abort landing, turn around and head back to the Elysian fields where I belong, with the other deities (Javeh, Buddha, Muhammad and Augusto Pinochet), some shell-suited, coke-snorting, hair-gelling lowlife has nicked by back wheel. For My sake, that’s shaggin annoying…”

Jesus decided that moving forward he would never again underestimate the omnipresence of the skangers. And that He shall weave his chain and lock through the frame and the back wheel from now on and for the rest of times.


* in March 2007


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