And the melting ice caps.
And global food shortages (including spice burgers and deep-fried Mars bars).
And the gliding swines.
And the smiley, helpful civil servants.
And the realistic property market.
And the nights out with friends without a single mention of the property market.
And the perfect work/life balance.
Ah, bollix to that.
It can’t happen.
Can it not?! Really?!
Hear me out.
Today…. for the first time… EVER!
Today… A Christmas tree was bought… without stress*
The kids were happy.
Just happy happy.
The decorations were found. And hung. With no fight, or moaning, or bickering.
The tree is here. Decorated. Still standing.
And there hasn’t been a SINGLE tear. No raised voices.
But, I’d better go, I can hear a squadron of flying pigs overhead.
* I was running, saw the not-too-rough young guy freezing his butt off with loads of trees left, asked him how much they were, he said EUR50 to 60, I said “Jayzus, sorry, way out of my league” and was about to
dash dawdle off again when he asked me what my budget was, and I told him EUR40 max, and I pointed to a tree, and he said right, and the deal was done there and then, and I asked him for how much longer he’d be around, and he said about half an hour, but he looked really cold already, and I said I’d be back, but not to die of hypothermia waiting for me, and I ran faster back home. and told Mrs Raheny that this year there would be no procrastinating, that I had found the right tree at the right price, and then I drove back to the young guy, and we found the tree straight away, and he said fifty, and before I could argue he remembered the lycra and high vis jacket and pumping sweat, and he said forty. and the deal was done there and then, again, and we have a tree.